From left, Arj Barker, Caimh McDonnel and Rob Deering.

The global climate is changing. All the animals are soon going to be extinct. We’re going to run out of water. BP is poisoning large chunks of the US coast because we all want to drive around in cars. We keep knocking over trees to build more fabulous holiday homes that no one actually needs. The air will soon be unbreatheable. And it’s all our fault. Well, the last bit is mostly China’s fault, but the rest is ours. We should all feel desperately guilty.

That’s probably why we in Phuket keep going to this never-ending series of comedy routines performed by visiting stand-ups from all over the English-speaking world. We need cheering up sometimes.

There’s another lot landing here on June 22 (a Tuesday) for a one-night stand-up at the Mercure Hotel in Patong. This time the performers are:

Arj Barker, from San Francisco. You’ll be happy to hear that Arj doesn’t think global warming is our fault. It is, he has concluded, the fault of the sun: “After all, when you burn the toast, you don’t blame the bread, do you?” He has a point. Arj is very popular in Australia, where the Melbourne Age described him thus: “Barker is an intelligent, droll comic with a dark turn of thought and a fantastic, disturbing stage persona.”

A disturbing stage persona? Just what we need when we’re all feeling guilty about making a garbage dump of our only home, the Earth. A disturbing person trying to make us laugh.

Caimh McDonnell has, according to the blurb, “a gentle yet incisive humour [that] makes any audience feel involved whilst playing with their expectations – sucking them in with his chatty, playful stage presence before metaphorically slapping them in the face with an unexpected punchline.” Oh good.

We all need a bit of slapping. But why only metaphorical? After all, with what we’ve been doiung to the Earth and continue to do, we deserve a jolly good spanking. His name, apparently, is pronounced “Queeve”. He’s London Irish.

Rob Deering, according to The Independent newspaper, is “as sharp and versatile as a Swiss Army knife”. So he’s probably got one of those things for getting stones out of a horse’s hoof.

He is also multi-accented, able to converse like a native from (in alphabetical order) the American South, Australia, Bristol, California, Cockney land, Devon, Edinburgh, Eire, Glasgow, Liverpool, London (non-Cockney), Manchester, New York, Northern Ireland, Scotland, the West Country and Yorkshire. Aye, lad.

He’s performed solo at the Edinburgh Festival not once, but six times. They like him there. He accompanies his jokes with a guitar. If you want to know more, you’ll have to go and seew the show.

Note the change of venue from the Holiday Inn “due to unforeseen circumstances”, whatever that means.Tickets are B960 in advance of B1,200 on the door. You can buy the cheap ones at any of the Woody’s Sandwich Shoppes in Chalong, Cherng Talay or Patong, plus the Royal Phuket Marina Health Club, Angus O’Tools in Karon and Arfur O’Tools in Kata.

The “Comedy Bar” at the Mercure opens at 7pm, with the show dues to start an hour later. To find the Mercure, head down Rat-U-Thit 200 Pi Rd until you see the Hard Rock Café on your right. The Mercure is a few yards further, on the opposite side of the road. For more info, see the Comedy Club website.

If you won’t be able to make it to the show, you can still cheer yourself up by doing something good for the environment. For example, today, right now, you can help to slow the rising amounts of CO2 that are adding to the greenhouse effect, leading to global climate change. It’s simple.

Stop breathing.

More comedians? This is no laughing matter is an article from: Phuket Observer - Phuket lifestyle magazine.

Mark Billingham. Just a bit blue.

Mark Billingham, born and raised in Birmingham in the UK, worked for some years as an actor, TV writer and stand-up comedian. His first crime novel, ‘Sleepyhead’, was published in 2001. But his standup career goes back much further, to 1987.

Since that time, he’s appeared on more than 30 radio and TV shows, played every comedy club in the UK and, according to the website, has bought a new hat. As a regular performer and MC at London’s Comedy Store, Mark “talks dirty, waxes lyrical about animal husbandry and takes the p**s out of people’s shirts”.

Mike Gunn’s history is as interesting and entertaining as his comedy. A misspent youth and a series of grim jobs cultivated his cynical outlook on life and a perverse desire led him to the world of stand-up. A self-confessed pessimist, he describes himself as “not a natural choice for a career in laughter”.

Lugubrious Mike Gunn. So why's he smiling?

His lugubrious comedy has been described as “drier than a dead man’s bones”. He has a rare ability to walk close to the line of what audiences find acceptable and yet still remain likable and funny. The website notes, “His reputation for being a bit unfriendly, a touch dark and even morose is really not true. In real life he’s loving, warm and philanthropic. Just a bit misunderstood.”

He has also devised an anti-drugs show aimed at teenagers, which has received rave reviews from the teenagers, most of whom admit he gave them food for thought and cleverly reinforced the anti-drugs message without “preaching”.

Carl Donnelly is, by comparison, a newcomer, having started doing stand-up regularly only in 2005. But he quickly established himself as one of the most exciting new comics climbing the comedy ladder.

The silly youngster: Carl Donnelly.

His conversational style and silly sense of humour have seen him win a host of awards and become a regular act and MC at clubs all over Britain (and the world – he has also performed in France, Germany, Singapore, the Netherlands, Oman, Dubai, Ireland and others.

Tickets for the show can be bought for B960 each until 3pm the day before the show. remaining tickets will be for sale on the door at B1,200 apiece. Sales outlets can be seen here. So far, there is no outlet in Phuket Town. If you have a bar/restaurant/shop in Phuket Town and are interested in selling tickets, leave a comment at the foot of this story and we’ll pass it along.

Important info: Drinks at 50% off will be available from 5pm to 8pm, when the doors open. Thew show begins at 8:30pm. There will also be a “Comedy Bar” just outside the venue, selling beer at B100, wine at B120 a glass, and vodka, gin and whisky at B140.

Jokers are wild in Phuket – again is an article from: Phuket Observer - Phuket lifestyle magazine.

John Moloney.

Which is why we expect the next Punchline Comedy Club at the Holiday Inn, Patong, on February 10, to be packed.

As usual, there will be three main acts – this time a couple of Canadians and a Brit.

The Brit is John Moloney, who has been doing standup comedy professionally for the past 10 years. In the past couple of years he has been trotting around the globe, performing in Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, the USA, Germany, Hong Kong, Dubai, Amsterdam, and China.

He was voted Best Live Performer for two years running at the London Comedy Festival, and apart from stand-up comedian, his website describes him as  “after-dinner speaker, writer, food critic, TV presenter, actor, and musician. For a taste, see here. His website is here.

Pete Johansson

London-based Canadian Pete Johansson ranges across current events, moving seamlessly from one topic to another. Last year he was nominated for the Best Newcomer award at the Edinburgh Festival (despite his 19 years of stand-up). Writing in the Scotsman newspaper, Kate Capstick noted, “His closing riff on engagement rings, intimacy and anal sex is one of the unmissable joys of this year’s [Edinburgh] Fringe [Festival].” So you’ve been warned.

Johansson’s wesbite is here. Click on “Clips” for samples of his act.

Stewart Francis.

The other Canadian, Stewart Francis, also lists acting and screen writing among his talents (he has written for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He specialises in a stream of one-liners, rarely connected, but rarely less than hilarious. His website,which includes clips form past shows, is here.

The show starts at 8:30pm in the Holiday Inn’s Taksina room. A  ‘comedy’ bar selling drinks at sensible prices (beer B100, spirits B120, wine B140) opens next door at 7pm. Tickets are available until the day before the show at B960 apiece from the hotel, from Woody’s Sandwich Shoppes in Chalong, Cherng Talay and Patong, or the Royal Phuket Marina Health Club. They are also available on the door for B1,200. The Phuket Punchline Comedy Club website is here.

Heard the one about the Brit and the two Canadians? is an article from: Phuket Observer - Phuket lifestyle magazine.

Greg Burns

Did you hear the one about the Englishman, the Welshman and Scotsman? Nor did we. But we have high hopes that it will be told at the next comedy night in Phuket, on May 19, when stand-up comics from all three places will perform a one-night stand of stand-up comedy.

The trio are Greg Burns (no, he’s the Englishman, not the Scot), Lloyd Langford from Wales and Geoff Boyz from Scotland.

Burns has been working the UK comedy circuit for 11 years, though he is better known in the UK as  a radio DJ, having spent four years at Heart 106.2FM as host of the drive-time show. He recently joined Virgin Radio as Sunday afternoon host, and also appeared in an episode of The Office, playing himself – affirmation that he is a British icon, at least for today. The Sunday Times likes him. It has described him as being “as loveable a comedian as you’re likely to find. Confident, funny and clever.”

Lloyd Langford

Lloyd Langford is a more recent arrival on te British comedy scene, having won the Chortle student comedy award in 2004 and a nomination for the Chortle best breakthrough award last year. The Guardian described him as “one of the sharpest comedic minds on the circuit”.

Geoff Boyz, from Glasgow, was one of the first British stand-ups to perform in China (no, not performing in Mandarin), and has appeared  in a variety of TV panel games and stand-up shows since making his first solo appearance at the Edinburgh festival in 1996. Scotland on Sunday said of him, ” his demeanour is tense – his delivery explosive”. Bring your tin hat.

Geoff Boyz

Ticket price are B960 if bought in advance, or in B1,200 at the door of the Holiday Inn, Patong, where the show starts at 8.30pm. Tickets can be bought in advance at Khun Woody’s Sandwich Shoppes in Patong, Cherng Talay and Chalong, from Atmanjai at Friendship Beach in Rawai or, on May 18 and 19 from the Holiday Inn reception desk, between 5 and 7pm. All proceeds will be donated to the Rotary Club of Patong.

For more information see the event website or the Chortle site.

Sit down for a night of stand-up is an article from: Phuket Observer - Phuket lifestyle magazine.

Hung Le: The violinist and boat person who turned to comedy.

A HEADS-UP FOR LAUGHS: On March 10, at the Holiday Inn in Patong, standup comedy will be the order of the night with comedians John Lenahan from the US, Vietnamese-Australian laugh-meister Hung Le and Eddie Brimson from the UK.

The trio will also be performing in Hua Hin on March 12 and in Bangkok on the 13^th and 14^th.

Tickets cost 960 baht if bought in advance (see http://www.phuketcomedy.com/phuket.html for details) or 1,200 on the door.

Stand-up Comedy in Patong is an article from: Phuket Observer - Phuket lifestyle magazine.